THE PAT BOONE FAN CLUB - Sue William Silverman

"The Pat Boone Fan Club...My Life as a White Anglo-Saxon Jew" is more an Anglo-Saxon "confessional" than the typical humorous Jewish-neurotic rant you'd get in short stories or memoirs from Philip Roth or Woody Allen. It does have amusing moments, but most of it touch on serious, and heartfelt issues involving the search for identity and a place to call home (she's had a few husbands and lived in several cities).

Only a few chapters are about the man who sang "white bread" pop hits in the 50's and early 60's. Most of this collection of essays (some of them award winners and previously published in literary magazines) are about Jewish jitters if not outright angst. This includes the many times Sue has been a stranger in a strange part of America. However, only a Jew is going to write an entire essay pretty much about wanting a colonoscopy to find an answer to a condition that might be colitis, or might not. That it isn't gut-funny as a stand-up whiner like Richard Lewis might've made it, is just Silverman's conversational style and sensibility. She knows anecdotes about "the human comedy" aren't all laugh out loud hilarious. So why force it on every page? Instead, her book sometimes seems like a transcript you overheard from someone on a cell phone. It gets more and more fascinating even if you don't know the person.

No doubt, a lot of readers here already know Sue from her previous books so reading an old friend's diary, or a lament about a hospital stay, would be particularly engrossing. They know all about her painful childhood via "Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You," and another memoir, "Love Sick," focusing on sexual addiction. The latter became a Lifetime made-for-TV movie.

The very serious recurring theme of this collection, is shaking off the agony of guilt and inferiority. It's difficult not to feel confusion, shame and insecurity when antisemitic remarks slip from the mouth of a trusted loved one. Sue hasn't forgotten the time her first husband complained about a project and said, "I won't let him Jew me down." She also won't forget her father, the guy who destroyed her innocence and drove her to wish Pat Boone would adopt her: "I ask you. Would you want to be Jewish if your Jewish father is a bad man? A bad, bad man?"

But just when you hope for a touch of Jewish ironic humor, or a gentle smile, she does toss in a one-liner: "I know I am Jewish…or as Jewish as a gefilte fish is Jewish."

Probably the most universal chapters of the book refer to her relationship with Pat Boone. At first these "fan notes" involve the restless yearning and anxious fears about actually meeting him. Most of us have had a stage door experience like that. Add to this, the literal counter-culture of being drawn to an exact opposite...an All-American Christian with no accent and perfect hair and a pretty darn perfect face and body, too. In alternating chapters, we get more of the main story...her subsequent encounters with Pat Boone.

Mr. Boone did not, however, supply an endorsement for the back cover, which may just be modesty on his part. He comes off well, and Silverman doesn't sugar coat any realities here, including how she rekindled her fan-appreciation at a time when the aging star was playing minor places in front of sometimes listless older crowds.

While Jewish bookstores are shrinking in number, and would be the likely place to promote a book like this, Sue told me she felt there was a wider audience for her book: "This is really in many ways an American story, about assimilation, a search for identity…it's not just for Jewish audiences. I have friends who grew up Catholic, who didn't want to be Catholic…" so some might easily read the Pat Boone segments and substitute most any star of any religion or color. (My brief talk with Sue was in interview mode. I don't know her; the "Ronald Smith" on page 121 is not me!)

In "Dixie Flyer," Randy Newman sang about what it was like to be part of a family of Jews trying to live in the South: "Christ, they wanted to be Gentiles, too. Who wouldn't down there, wouldn't you? An American Christian! God Damn!" The Jew who celebrates Christmas and finds comfort in the hymns, the Gentile who admires a smart Jewish friend and comes to a Seder...the little white kid who shyly wants the 7 foot black basketball player's autograph...the Middle Eastern girl with dreams of going to Paris and being like Gigi...Sue William Silverman writes for them all, as well as herself in this book. And maybe someday Pat Boone might cover Randy Newman's song. He just hasn't done it yet.

"Out of Print Clothing" - Authors Turn into Shirts and Book Bags for Charity

Who'd you like to tote around? It seems one of the top choices is Poe, and a "Poe-Ka Dot" $18 bag. What would be your favorite book jacket to wear as a shirt? "The Great Gatsby" is a big favorite.

One of the most interesting booths at the BEA (Book Expo America) convention held in NYC last week, was from Outofprintclothing.com. They were selling tote bags, note pads and "Shirts with a Mission." What nostalgia. And what…is the point?

"Sending books to Africa," a spokesman told me. The premise has been so successful that the company is now offering more modern book jackets and author photos, not just "public domain" material. I got a smile and a shake of the head and "No names," when I asked if any authors or book companies turned them down. I got the same when I asked about any specific authors who were particularly encouraging. "We don't want to single anyone out…but we've had a lot of wonderful responses."

Aside from book jackets and author photos, replicas of old fashioned library book pockets are also popular. Some folks remember fondly the days when a library book had a card in a pocket, with the date due stamped on it. So why not tote that image around?

The profits from the totes, notepads and shirts go to a worthy cause. Books. REAL BOOKS. It's nice to know that while bookstores are going under, and some thrift shops are overgrown with dollar books they have to toss in the trash, some people are glad to get books. This charity claims to have sent hundreds of thousands of books to a wide range of countries in Africa; basically any nation that asks.

Perhaps Mr. Poe is a favorite over there as well…after all, in his fable "Silence," he name-checks Zaire, which wasn't exactly a tourist destination in the 1840's. No, he never went there, but he fancied it quite a bizarre tourist attraction: "And overhead, with a rustling and loud noise, the gray clouds rush westwardly forever, until they roll, a cataract, over the fiery wall of the horizon..."

JOY IN MUDVILLE : NEW CASEY AT THE BAT - FOR GIRLS

At the BEA book convention, I asked Bob Raczka if modern kids actually knew that old chestnut, "Casey at the Bat."

He said "it doesn't matter much either way. If they don't..." he pointed to the back of his new children's book. There, the venerable old poem stood. The catchy cover illustration shows what's important, which isn't that this is a sequel to "Casey at the Bat," but a book about a girl pitching on an all-boy's team. "Joy in Mudville" refers to a girl named Joy.

In Bob's re-write, all that happened when Mighty Casey struck out, was to drop the Mudville team to second place! No joy in Mudville? Not so fast, Mr. Thayer. According to Bob, they still have a chance at the pennant, because Casey came through in the next game. The big question: in this final game, can relief pitcher Joy hold Mudville's slim 1-0 lead? In the ninth inning?? With the bases loaded???

Like a typical little league diamond full of smooth dirt patches and bumpy weeds, the rhyming stanzas in this tense tale vary in texture. A young reader might speed easily through one section and stumble a bit on another. Here are two stanzas in a row, one speeding easily to first base and rounding to second, the other more awkward, like a heavy set player rounding third and tangling his feet a bit in reaching home:

As Joy, the rookie hurler
took the mound to pitch relief,
Some twenty thousand fans
stared down in silent disbelief.

What struck them dumb
was not the unknown's anonymity
It was the fact that Joy
(the rookie's first name) was a she.

A she, indeed. The male author and illustrator both dedicated the whole she-bang to their daughters. Thus they enable all girls (and boys, and educators) who aren't sure about co-ed baseball. One thing about baseball…it's one of the few sports where all sizes of kids can find a position and succeed, so why not both sexes?

Joy may not have the strongest arm in Mudville, but in fact, finesse often beats brute force. In the real world, knuckleball pitchers can go into their 40's because it's guile, not strength that helps them. As for the tricks that clever Joy uses, well, they aren't far-fetched. Some old-time fans might remember Steve Hamilton's wacky "Folly Floater." Steve just tossed the ball high in the air, surprising and frustrating batters who were prepared to fungo the ball into the seats when it landed in front of them…only to swing and miss.

Little boys, who might not like girls at this age, and might resent a girl on the team, might learn a lesson in tolerance here, and girls will of course find the book inspiring. Happily, the story is big on action, not preachy feminism, and there's no scene where anyone sulks about having a female on the team. Bottom line as the reader heads into the bottom of the ninth? This book's a great pastime, and the time passes quickly with a nice dash of humor.

Joyce Carol Oooof : Lena Dunham the star of the BEA?

Anybody remember Joyce Carol Oates?

Is Mary Higgins Clark really the only female mystery writer in the world?

Dr. Ruth with a ghost-written book on Greek and Roman mythology?

No, the only "glamorous" female writer to get a mention in anything but the dusty book trade papers was...

You see the picture. I don't want to mention the name more than once.

The literary darling of America is...somebody famous for taking her top off...when nobody wants to see it? Them?

The sad fact about BEA is that celebrities rule. Long, long gone are the days of Gore Vidal or even Tom Wolfe. Can the average American name any playwright who isn't dead? And who is still actively writing? (That lets out Edward Albee, assuming the average American is over 40).

It seems writers haven't been considered worthy of national exposure since the Carson-Cavett-Frost era. Only Cavett is still with us, he was at BEA, and nobody seemed to cover his latest tome aside from Publishers Weekly). Maybe writers have done it to themselves...with every "best selling novel" by certain authors reading just like the last one they did, only not as good. Even so, an HBO comic who isn't nearly as "smart" and "edgy" or "funny" as people think she is?

Aside from...her...the only other "authors" to get a glimmer of press were Billy Idol and Neil Patrick Harris (the latter may have gotten a tad more if he'd bother to show up on time or stay a while...but if the excuse is that "Hedwig" is an arduous show and he needs his rest, I'll take it).

Was it last year, or the year before, that the big attraction was Neil Young talking with Patti Smith?

I have hopes that maybe next year an actual author will climb into the ranks of "celebrity" rather than a "celebrity" stepping above and rendering invisible all BEA convention authors.

Book Expo: A Sign of the Times at Aunt BEA

Book Expo America once again showed the world that books are alive and well (even if bookstores aren't and Amazon is King Pest).

But as you see below, literacy wasn't a guarantee at every stall or table.

As usual, long lines (for those with advance tickets) greeted the old favorites including Linda Fairstein, James Ellroy and Lorenzo Carcaterra, as well as the few celebs on hand such as Neil Patrick Harris and Billy Idol.

Harris arrived late and left early. He was signing a little sampler booklet from his autobiography. His short attention span had many on that line hissing and hissy-fitting, but that was the exception to an otherwise fairly benign event where authors stayed a reasonable amount of time till the carton or two of books disappeared.

The number of "freak show" moments has decreased over the years. Ripley's didn't stage a "Believe it Or Not" exhibit, and there weren't many full-size mascots or costumed "action figures" wandering around for a photo op. This was fine with most serious browsers and businessmen. Any sleepwalking and/or obese librarians (who sometimes were hard to navigate past) could only be shaken from their torpor by the sudden arrival of a celebrity at a booth...or better, the arrival of cookies or little cupcakes courtesy of a few cookbook authors.

This year Book Con (yes, the all too eager offspring of Comic Con) took place on Saturday. In the past, BEA simply took over three days, with Saturday a bit slow with a lot of people off to visit NYC and dealers packing up by noon or 2pm. But this year Book Con took action on Saturday, slicing itself about a fourth of the Javits Center for those book companies that wanted to appeal to the juvenile and "graphic novel" (ie, big fat comic book) crowd. Book Con, with somewhat low ticket prices, lured in thousands of civilians hoping to grab off review copies to sell on eBay and snag face time and autographs with their favorite scribble heroes. They had to be a bit disappointed. Not only weren't there many well known names on Saturday, but the few on hand were not signing. Comic book God Stan Lee was only on a panel, not ready or willing to sign anybody's Spiderman Underoos.

What will happen next year, nobody quite knows...but it does seem that Book Con wants to game-change the event at the Javits Center and turn BEA into a Comic Con with bindings. They'll be happy to charge a fortune so that comic book dealers and graphic novelists can grin and snarl at gawking geeks willing to pay insane amounts for "collectibles." After all, goggle-eyed Googlers who drool over men in tights, aren't buying eBook versions of this junk. They need the actual comic book to wrap in plastic and carefully place in a shelf in their shrine.

In a way it makes sense for Book Con (Comic Con with a more adult name) to try and horn in on BEA, where authors are hurting and so many view Kindle as a convenience to having actual heavy books taking up apartment space.

There's a definite line in the sand between the quiet librarians and book store owners and businessmen of BEA and the the noisy tattoo and Crayola-hair bunch who want to show up in costumes and aren't impressed with authors who sit, smile and sign BOOKS. Or as a few of them stuck behind security and unable to invade the main area of BEA cried, "Where do I get a poster signed of "Wimpy Kid???" Is it a surprise that Cynthia Weil, for example, autographed copies of her book on Friday, but at Comic Con on Saturday autographed posters instead?

As book fans keep saying, with the closure of bookstores, the dominance of Amazon, the piracy of eBooks, the lower advances to authors and the increasing interest in disposable blips on Kindle rather than treasured tomes on a shelf, there's a "sea change going on."

Those wondering if the ship is sinking were buoyed by some of what was going on at BEA. There were still plenty of indie publishers, plenty of optimistic authors signing their new books, and plenty of those "publish it yourself" folks assuring us that if traditional publishers are more interested in celebs including Martin Short or Lena Dunham (both at BEA this year), they'd be willing to publish an eBook (and/or print on demand) to make anyone a potential literary star.

IDOL of the B.E.A. - The Sneer's Familiar! Billy Idol signs in...

You know that face anywhere...the sneer that launched a million sales.

One of the longer lines at BEA (Book Expo America) on opening day was for Billy Idol. Stars always seem to trump the usual authors/suspects (R.L. Stine, Mary Higgins Clark, Carl Hiaasen).

Billy's autograph (on a sampler from the book...his "Dancing with Myself" comes out in October) required not only standing in line, but standing on an earlier line to get the limited edition "ticket."

All this was very amusing to Billy, who in keeping with the masturbatory nature of his book title (and hit single), gleefully rubbed one of the sampler-chapter copies of the book against his crotch. Sorry I wasn't quite quick enough to get that shot, but you do get an evocative glower in the photo on the left.

It'll be a busy Spring, Summer and Fall for the Idol with the bright white hair...he's touring starting in June, and working on the completion of a new album to be released concurrently with the book.

Didn't know Mr. Idol was the literary type? The autobiography promises to raise eyebrows even higher than Billy likes to raise his own. As he says, in all modesty regarding himself and his book: “I am hopelessly divided between the dark and the good, the rebel and the saint, the sex maniac and the monk, the poet and the priest, the demagogue and the populist. Pen to paper, I am putting it all down, every bit from the heart. I am going out on a limb here, so watch my back.”

Patti Dahlstrom: Jesus and a car crash with Paul Williams. That's "Emotion"

"Emotion" is the name of a hit song recorded by Helen Reddy and Shirley bassey. The lyrics are by Patti Dahlstrom, who issued four critically acclaimed albums and has had other songs covered by Bobbie Gentry, Anne Murray, Patti Austin and many more. Music fans still feel a lot of "Emotion" for Patti, who was active at a time when female vocalists sung high and "pretty." She received limited radio play because her voice was lower, earthier. She was a unique hybrid of Southern roots rock and sophisticated L.A. musicianship.

Most fans know she was a close friend of Jim Croce, who died in a plane crash. But not many know that Patti herself was almost killed in a car accident, and that's the lead subject of her eBook "Traveling with Jesus."

She was actually traveling with Paul Williams (the songwriter and actor), who was behind the wheel. The car had no seat belts and when the car skidded out of control, Patti was flung high in the air and landed with a sickening crack...and seemed hopelessly maimed. Williams rushed to her side. He called to her, but she was hearing another voice. Patti writes:

"As I looked at the amazing night sky, I was surrounded by loving beings, and The Voice began to comfort and instruct me. "Do not worry, I am healing you.” I felt at this moment totally safe, completely loved and accepted, and blissfully happy. I was enveloped in a love I’ve never felt on this Earth; it was a love beyond understanding, and yet I knew. I was exactly who and where I should be, no doubt, no fear, just love. "Tell the doctors to call Steve Zax in San Francisco, and to do exactly as he tells them. I am healing you," the Voice continued.

Far away, though by my side, I heard Paul crying, "Patti, an ambulance is on the way."
"Don't worry, Paul, God is healing me."
"Oh, God," he cried.
Then The Voice continued, "Your father will call you in a few days and tell you that the odds are 50,000 to 1 that the doctors can save the left side of your face. Do not listen to him, for I am healing you." I do not remember a time in my life when I have been happier than I was that night lying in the middle of Beverly Glen Canyon with half of my face being held on by a thread, cradled in my dear friend's hands...."

Dahlstrom admits that some skeptics will insist she was merely "hearing things," and that they don't believe any story of help from beyond, but that's the point of the book...a look at faith and the power of believing.

At the moment her tome is available in eBook form only via her website, pattidahlstrombooks.com. Apparently it may eventually be sold as a traditional paperback. Ebooks, especially self-published ones, not only are free from editorial interference, but can be any length and any price. Her book is about 13,000 words (the length of three good-sized short stories). There's no padding here; it's a fast, fascinating read.

Patti's four record albums, and her best known songs, are not big on religious references, so this book does cover different terrain for fans expecting a memoir about songwriting, romance or her anecdotes about her later career as a teacher and expatriate living for a while in England. Hopefully she'll cover those topics in future books. Patti demonstrated long ago that she was excellent with lyrics, and a unique vocalist as well, and now, no surprise at all, she's proven to be an engaging, skillful writer...who can stir up both intellectual curiosity and pure emotion.